My Jok Sms Message by kesaven
☻Sex is a sensation. It's about a man's temptation, putting his location in a woman's destination. Do you understand the explanation or do you need a demonstration?
Posted by Kesaven
☻Hi, I am an alien and I've just transformed into your phone and right now I'm having sex with your finger. I know you like it, because you're smiling now!!
Posted by Kesaven
☻Mean people suck, Nice people swallow! !
Posted by Kesaven
☻A peach is a peach, A plum is a plum, A kiss ain't a kiss, without some tounge. So open up your mouth, and close your eyes, and give your tounge Some exercise!
Posted by Kesaven
☻CONFICIUS SAY: BOY WHO GO TO SLEEP WITH STIFF PROBLEM WAKE UP WITH SOLUTION IN HAND.
Posted by Kesaven
Posted by Kesaven
☻Love is a name, Sex is a game. Forget the name and play the game!
Posted by Kesaven
Posted by Kesaven
☻Humpty Dumpty fucked a fat whore, Humpty Dumpty blew on the floor. All the kings horses & all the kings men, laid the slut down & fucked her again!
Posted by Kesaven
☻Sex is good, sex is fine, doggy style or 69, just for fun or getting paid everyone loves getting laid.u'll get laid.
Posted by Kesaven
☻Kiss me and you will see stars; Love me and I will give them to you.
Posted by Kesaven
☻A guy walks up to a girl and says: Wanna play magic? She asks: What do you mean? He says: We go to my place, have sex and than you disappear!
Posted by Kesaven
☻Love is a thing, sex is also a thing.
Posted by Kesaven
☻BEEB! Send this message to 5 of your friends and you will have unbelieveble sex tonight! If you break this chain, you'll never have multiple orgasm again!
Posted by Kesaven
☻Roses are red, Pickles are green. I love your legs and whats in between.
Posted by Kesaven
☻I like your style. I like your class, but most of all i like your ass.
Posted by Kesaven
☻Sex is like NOKIA (connecting people) like NIKE (just do it) like PEPSI (ask for more) like SAMSUNG (everyone is invited) and like ME (TO GOOD TO BE TRUE)..
Posted by Kesaven
☻I love you in blue. I love you in red but most of all. I love you in bed.
Posted by Kesaven
☻How does a vagina look before sex? Like a lovely pink rose! And after sex? Ever seen a Bulldog eating Mayonaise?
Posted by Kesaven
☻If you want a little brother,
kill your dad and fuck your mother.
Posted by Kesaven
☻Sex is like pizza. When its good, its VERY GOOD. When its bad, its Still pretty good
Posted by Kesaven
☻Sorry, the fuckmachine is out of order, so fuck yourself and save a quarter.
Posted by Kesaven
☻Fuck is good. Fuck is funny. Lots of people. Fuck for money. If you think that. Fuck is funny. Fuck yourself and save your money!
Posted by Kesaven
☻Sex is like Math, Add the Bed, Subtract the Clothes, Divide the Legs and Multiply!
Posted by Kesaven
☻I want you to ride me like a pony! Hiyaaaaaa…
Posted by Kesaven
☻Don't be silly, put a condom on your willy.
Posted by Kesaven
☻Searching(sex)...... Done... Iedereen is op dit moment met SEX bezig. ...Wait a sec plz... Maar er is een zot zonder sex dit klotebericht aan het lezen!
Posted by Kesaven
☻Sex, drugs & rock n roll, speed weed & birth control, life's a bitch, then u die, so fuck the world & lets get high!
Posted by Kesaven
☻This program will automatically enlarge your penis. Now starting...beep 6 5 4 3.....beep 2 1....Sorry no penis found!
Posted by Kesaven
☻Do you want to have sex with me? For $50! Please please please....I really need the money!
Posted by Kesaven
☻Sex is good,sex is funny, all the people fuck for money! If you think love is funny, fuck yourself and safe the money!
Posted by Kesaven
☻Sex is like Nike, just do it.
Posted by Kesaven
☻Masturbation, don't knock it, it's sex with someone I love...
Posted by Kesaven
☻Neuk een wijf in dr kont, stamp die anus tot ze komt.S mijt je benen in de lucht, laat je pijpen in een vlucht. Krab de shit van je paal, anaal neuken is geniaal!
Posted by Kesaven
☻Programming is like sex: One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Posted by Kesaven
☻If you don't like oral sex than keep your mouth shut!!
Posted by Kesaven
☻Press down......down more......ok......more......yes......ahh.......yes......almost there......yeah......oh shit......harder......so good! Yeah, that's textual intercourse!
Posted by Kesaven
☻Sex is the game, Love is a name, Forget the name ...... Lets PLAY the game.
Posted by Kesaven
☻I want you right, right now, why don't you come on over and let's do now!
Posted by Kesaven
☻I'm a bit shy...I'd like to have sex with you, you do not have to say yes, just smile to me!
Posted by Kesaven
☻I think I have BSE on my penis ...... all women who experienced it go crazy !
Posted by Kesaven
☻Eva stood in the river washing her cunt when God comes running to her and shouts: EVA EVA STOP, I WON'T GET THE SMELL OF THE FISH.
Posted by Kesaven
☻Do you know why a waterbed needs to be filled with seawater?...For the mussels need to be able to open.
Posted by Kesaven
☻Screw calmly and without worries, if you do not come today, it may happen tomorrow !
Posted by Kesaven
☻Women are like little children, they put everything they see in their mouth.
Posted by Kesaven
☻The boy puts his information in her communication and together they make population!
Posted by Kesaven
☻What is the resemblance between a windscreen wiper and a woman? ... When they are wet, they do not squeak any more!
Posted by Kesaven
☻The first day we met,I wanted you in my bed.Today I'll know better,so I'll write it in my letter.In my bed I've seen so many faces,so I'll fuck you at different places
Posted by Kesaven
☻Sex is good,sex is funny, all the people fuck for money!If you think love is funny, fuck yourself and safe the money!!!
Posted by Kesaven
☻What is de maximum speed during sex? .... 68, because at 69 you go overturn!
Posted by Kesaven
☻A good neighbour is better dan an inflatable doll !
Posted by Kesaven
☻God created the world in SIX days But it took him centuries... to come up with someone...as "HOT" ... as "SEXY" ... as "Fuckable" ... *..As "YOU!" .. *
Posted by Kesaven
☻Text messaging is like a blow-job off an amateur prostitute; short...sweet and always cheap!!!
Posted by Kesaven
☻What is the smallest airplane in the world,a cunt... Only one man fits in it, he needs to stand, his luggage stays outside and he still gets off ...
Posted by Kesaven
☻Are mice giving you trouble? No? Than you must have a good pussy!
Posted by Kesaven
☻Are these your eyes? I found them between my brests!
Posted by Kesaven
☻Sex is like Nike, just do it.
Posted by Kesaven
☻Never dance naked because the body has parts that do not stop moving when the music stops.
Posted by Kesaven
☻How does a vagina look before sex? Like a lovely pink rose! And after sex? Ever seen a Bulldog eating Mayonaise??
Posted by Kesaven
☻When I was born I got the choice, or a major dick, or a fine memory. I am not able to remember what I did choose.
Posted by Kesaven
☻Masturbation, don't knock it, it's sex with someone I love...
Posted by Kesaven
☻Do you know why smurfs always laugh? Because the grass always tickles their little balls!
Posted by Kesaven
☻What is the difference between a man and a dildo?......... A man is a REAL PRICK!!!!
Posted by Kesaven
☻Programming is like sex: One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Posted by Kesaven
☻The best anti-virus program for a computer is SAFE-SEX.
Leave the plastic cover on the floppy when inserting in drive.
Posted by Kesaven
☻If you don't like oral sex than keep your mouth shut!!
Posted by Kesaven
☻Sex is good for your stomach muscles and much more fun than fitness
Posted by Kesaven
☻The difference between erotic and perverted:
Erotic = caress the vagina with a beautiful white whisp
Perverted = do the same thing with a whole chicken.
Posted by Kesaven
☻A guy walks up to a girl and says: Wanna play *Magic*? She says: What's that? .....He says: We go to my place, have sex and than you dissappear.....
Posted by Kesaven
☻What did Eva shout when she wanted to have SEX ?? ............. ADAM WHERE ARE YOU !!
Posted by Kesaven
☻you do not have to be good to be the best as long as you are better than all the rest!!
Posted by Kesaven
☻What does position 68 mean........You are doing me and I owe you one!!
Posted by Kesaven
☻Love your neighbour, but don't get caught.
Posted by Kesaven
☻A peach is a peach,a plum is a plum,A kiss ain't a kiss without some tongue.So open up your mouth and close you eyes and give your tongue some exercises!!
Posted by Kesaven
☻Just to let you know that I went to heaven and back...
Posted by Kesaven
☻What you never want to hear while having good sex?? ............. "Honey, I am home!"
Posted by Kesaven
☻There is: Hot-Sex, Fast-Sex, Safe-Sex, Group-Sex, Leather-Sex, Telephone-Sex, Cyber-Sex, and for people with your face: "No-Sex"!
Posted by Kesaven
☻Why does a woman have two pair of lips?................... One is for fighting and one is to make up.
Posted by Kesaven
☻What is the resemblance between a woman and a condom?................ They both fit around your dick and are present in your wallet
Posted by Kesaven
☻If you cry, I cry...if you laugh, I laugh...if you are happy, I am too...if you are sad, I am too...and if you are horny, call me.
Posted by Kesaven
☻American students say:.....people who never experience good sex and do not perform well in bed, usually read their SMS messages with their right hand
Posted by Kesaven
☻sex is like nokia (connecting people) like nike (just do it) like pepsi (ask for more) and like samsung (everybody is invited)
Posted by Kesaven
☻A woman is like a pair of rubber boots. When they are dry, you cannot enter them, when they are wet, they smell and when you walk on the street with them, people laugh at you.
Posted by Kesaven
☻Zwaai uw tieten in het rond, schuur je clitoris op de grond, stop 4 vingers in je kut, ram die kittelaar tot frut, bevredig je met een gans, dit is de mastrubatiedans.
Posted by Kesaven
☻Press down......down more......ok......more......yes......ahh......ohh......yes......almost there......yeah......oh shit......harder......so good!
mmmm ......................That's how we sex on text.
Posted by Kesaven
☻Message from you provider: Your dildo is disturbing our network. Turn it off or continue manually. Thanks for your cooperation.
Posted by Kesaven
☻The 3 miracles of a woman: produce milk without eating grass, 4 days of bleeding without dieing, letting a man come without yelling.
Posted by Kesaven
☻Hi, I am an alien and I've just transformed in your phone and right now I'm having sex with your finger. I know you like it because you're smiling now!!
Posted by Kesaven
☻I do not have the muscles of Stallone, I am not as handsome as Brad Pitt, I am not as strong as Schwarzenegger, but I can lick as good as Lassie!!!
Posted by Kesaven
☻Do you know the highest level you can reach during sex? ................................. no?...................................... Bungler !
Posted by Kesaven
☻By opening this message you activated the dildo of your girlfriend. She thanks you moaning...You have now become unnecessary.
Posted by Kesaven
☻Pornography tells lies about women, but the truth about men.
Posted by Kesaven
☻Roses are red ... Pickles are green ... I love your legs and whats in between
Posted by Kesaven
☻Searching(sex)......Done...Everybody is having sex at this very moment....Wait a sec...There is only one sucker reading this message!
Posted by Kesaven
☻Sex is a sensation caused by temptation,when a man puts his location in a woman's destination,do U understand the explination or would U like a demonstration
Posted by Kesaven
☻SEX is the game, Love is a name, Forget the name ...... Lets PLAY the game.
Posted by Kesaven
Laws of sex
1. The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.
2. Nothing improves with age.
3. No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again.
4. Sex has no calories.
5. Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
6. There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
7. Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.
8. No sex with anyone in the same office.
9. Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.
10. A man in the house is worth two in the street.
11. If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
12. Virginity can be cured.
13. When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.
14. Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
15. The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.
16. Sex is dirty only if it's done right.
17. It is always the wrong time of month.
18. The best way to hold a man is in your arms.
19. When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.
20. Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.
21. Sow your wild oats on Saturday night -- Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.
22. The younger the better.
23. The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.
24. It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.
25. Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.
26. Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.
27. There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.
28. Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.
29. Love is a hole in the heart.
30. If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon.
31. Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.
32. Do it only with the best.
33. Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.
34. One good turn gets most of the blankets.
35. You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.
36. Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
37. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
38. Thou shalt not commit adultery.....unless in the mood.
39. Never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.
40. Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.
41. Never argue with a women when she's tired -- or rested.
42. A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.
43. What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.
44. It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
45. Never say no.
46. A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.
47. Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.
48. Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.
49. Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog.
50. A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.
51. Love comes in spurts.
52. The world does not revolve on an axis.
53. Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.
54. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
55. Don't do it if you can't keep it up.
56. There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.
57. Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.
58. Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
59. "This won't hurt, I promise."
Posted by Kesaven
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